In childhood, adults (parents, family, etc.) help us or direct us as we develop an understanding of who we are. They provide the foundation for our identity and what we believe. The visual and verbal messages we receive help determine who we believe we are. Are we uplifted or put down? Are we greeted with smiles or frowns? Are our needs being met? If our basic needs aren’t being met, our concept of what we believe about ‘self’ is going to be negatively impacted. 

Our belief of who we are impacts our feelings about ourselves. Our beliefs are often impacted negatively when compared to others. Sometimes this action is meant to motivate. However, that is not always the case. Our beliefs in our ability to succeed in life and the world are impacted by the messages received in childhood. These messages sometimes last a lifetime and are never acknowledged.

Beliefs cannot be changed easily. There must be a major event (message) that has a greater impact than the initial event (message) received. When this occurs, our beliefs become stronger. If the message being communicated aligns with our beliefs, the added support will move us deeper into whatever beliefs we have about who we are.

Our beliefs produce automatic thoughts, some of which may be illogical. When illogical thoughts are shared in childhood, they are internalized and expressed as unconscious beliefs when we’re adults. It is not uncommon for these unconscious beliefs to create confusion in our lives.

Early life events and the environment greatly impact our beliefs. The intensity of the event or the type of environment we’re raised in can create beliefs that will cause us to either soar and/or plummet throughout our lifetime.

What are Values? Ideas of what is true for you; what’s important to you based on your beliefs.  Our core beliefs are behind each of our values. Because values represent what’s important to the individual, there are exhaustive lists of values.  Social values are those which are accepted and/or expected by society. A few examples would be honesty, respect, empathy, and fairness. Examples of personal values would be self-respect, family/friend relationships, health, and love.

Since values are products of our beliefs, it would be challenging to value that which we do not believe in. Our values guide our behaviors and actions seen by others. To change our values, we must first change what we believe. If those beliefs are based on illogical thoughts, this will not be a true value of the individual. Trying to honor this value will be challenging and probably not self-fulfilling.

As we self-assess who we are and where we are going, it’s wise to check in with your beliefs. Have your beliefs changed? If so… When? Why? Where? and How? How have your beliefs benefited you in your personal and professional journey? How have they impacted your goals? How have they been obstacles in your path? If we truly want to change our beliefs, if they are not aligned with what we’d like our values to be, know change is possible. 

What is the source of the doubt feeding your thoughts? What past experiences are you holding onto causing you not to believe in yourself and potentially blocking your future? What is holding you back from living the values you seek to move forward? Get in touch with your beliefs, the guiding force behind your actions. Change is possible. It just won’t be easy.