The Hidden Gems: Discovering Your Strengths and Weaknesses with the Iceberg Concept

Definitions:

Strength- the quality or state of being strong, physically, and mentally.

Weakness -a personal defect or failing; not strong.

To develop strength, there must be self-awareness of what you can do.  Over time, the strengths you possess become stronger as you develop your skills and knowledge.

Character Strength:

The development of a strong character encompasses multiple aspects of our thinking and behavior. These aspects begin to develop in childhood and are obvious if we take time to observe the children’s behavior. Wisdom comes from our desire to learn, being open-minded, curious, and creative. Courage- being brave, enthusiastic, and creative. Having extreme confidence.  Humanity- is being kind, loving and possessing a ‘social intelligence’ knowledge of appropriate behavior. Justice - is believing in fairness, teamwork, and leadership.  Temperance is being forgiving, modest and self-regulated. Transcendence is the appreciation of beauty, religious beliefs, hope, and gratitude.

The above aspects of character strength shape our adult beliefs and our actions.  Collectively they create an inner strength that is super-confident and has the potential to be highly successful.   

If we were to take each aspect individually and consider it to be a potential weakness, it would look like the following. Wisdom- not interested in learning, and accepting whatever happens. Not engaging in activities previously said to be interesting.  Courage- not interested in new experiences, lack enthusiasm. Humanity – being disagreeable, uncaring, not kind. Justice- believes in being treated better than others, doesn’t believe in fairness. Temperance- holding grudges expressed in the behavior. Transcendence- not interested in religious beliefs, hope, beauty or showing gratitude. These negative aspects may be viewed as weaknesses, possibly because the issues have not been successfully addressed, or the attitude got in the way. Aspects of our character strength develop and may change over time. When motivated, we can change if we choose to do so. The source of strength selected and the motivation it provides reflects what we value.  There are internal and external sources to choose from.

Sources of Strength:

Internal factors are the primary source of our strength, and family is 100% of who we are, initially. Family provides our first exposure to our environment and may have the greatest impact on the development of our character strength. If our childhood encompassed the negative aspects presented, our strengths would cease to exist, and our weaknesses would be magnified as we grew into adulthood, creating an unhappy adult. Other internal sources are Generosity, Spirituality, Physical and Mental health. Generosity refers to our willingness to be kind, to give our time or financial resources to help others.  Spirituality is expressed as our purpose, religious connection, and our showing appreciation. Physical health refers to care of the mind and body, while mental health focuses on addressing issues and challenges. Engaging in healthy activities when stressed helps to regain focus.

As for external sources, they most often involve people in close relationships with us. Our family is the 1st and sometimes the most impacting source of support. Whether it’s positive or negative, we may have to endure the impact throughout our lifetime. Friends who are positive tend to be supportive. And when they’re honest in their feedback, we will grow in confidence and strength.  A mentor can also be a friend. Their role is to identify and help develop and express the strengths we possess.  They guide us along our journey.

While weaknesses may exist, they can also cease to exist.  As adults we have the option of changing ourselves to be who and what we desire.  If a weakness is identified, dig into it. Identify the areas you can work on, determine the process necessary to make it a strength, and get busy!  If the desired area requires a change of attitude, it will help to first identify the reason for the attitude. The process will eventually help you develop your strength and possibly identify other areas of strength you didn’t know existed.