Don’t Waste Your Time!

Time is valuable. Unfortunately, it doesn’t get the respect it’s due. The value comes from the fact that it can’t be replaced. That’s scary. It’s common for people to waste our time, and there are many reasons for this behavior. Jealousy, competition, narcissism, and living vicariously through you are a few. Whatever the reason, they often do it with great enthusiasm at every opportunity.

Here’s a thought. 

When people waste our time, they are doing so with our permission. We’re enabling their behavior at our expense but it’s better to stop it. Below I’ve provided a few approaches that work for me. Remember, at all times you should be respectful. (Workbook: Golden Rule)

1.  As they begin to repeat content discussed earlier in the conversation or on another occasion, inquire if it’s about “whatever” offering some factual information and ask if there’s been any update. This is a reminder of previous conversations with a focus on anything different that they can add. As they pause to think, you can change the topic. 

2. Inform them up-front of the time you need to leave so both of you are on the same schedule. Do a time check every 2–3 minutes. This can be distracting, frustrating, and effective as they’re constantly being reminded of your available time.

3. For repetitive conversations, be short and concise.

(Workbook: I-Statements)   

    “I feel… I’m enabling you to feel badly”

    “When you… Emotionally share about (whatever)…”

    “Because… It affects you days later. You’re sad and I’m sad for you.”

   “Next time… When the urge hits, let’s talk about something different. So, what else can we talk about?”(*)

(*) Preferably a topic/activity of interest to fill the void that’s been created.

Be prepared with topics you’ve saved in a mental file.    

Congratulations! You now have additional tools for Life’s Toolbox. Use them wisely.